My wife earns 65% of my salary. She wants me to pay off her student loans. What should I say?

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Dear Quentin,

I am a 22 year old trade unionist who rose through the ranks to become a project manager. I went to business school. My wife worked as a registered nurse for four years and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from a local college.

Prior to working in nursing, she held part-time, full-time and home positions. We have four children. In addition to a salary, my job gives me a vehicle, fuel, a phone, vacation, retirement and health insurance.

His position pays an hourly rate and is roughly 401 (k). His salary is around 65% of my salary. She’s always been the type to measure what she gets versus what I get in terms of possessions, experiences, expenses, and feels that should be equal.

I am thrifty and money saver where she likes to spend money and thinks she should be able to get whatever she wants. I handle all the bills, payments, and money until I balance the budget, and she spends voluntarily.

“I handle all the bills, payments, and money until I balance the budget, and she spends voluntarily. ‘

If we were to divide all household expenses down the middle – including her cell phone, car insurance, gas bill, household expenses, groceries – it would leave her little extra expense at the end of the month.

She will also soon have to pay off a student loan for her degree, which amounts to 13% of her monthly income. When I talk about his expenses versus his income, his answer is that I should cover more of the expenses.

I agreed to do this, but I’m already covering some of his phone bill, car loan, gas bills, car insurance, and all of his health insurance, where my expenses for these items are. all covered by my work.

She said I was earning more, so I should cover the extras, and yet my monthly expenses are much lower than hers. Do you think it’s fair of me to expect her to cover her student loan payments and also cut down on her impulse spending?

Harassed husband

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Dear Harry,

A spoonful of sugar didn’t help the medicine go down. This only encouraged more spending, less savings and a growing sense of entitlement. It’s hard to turn around and tell her that the sugar bowl is now empty and that she will have to find another way to pay her bills, but you have little choice.

A graduate nurse salary ranges from about $ 60,230 in Alabama to $ 87,840 in New York. Your wife is a grossly underpaid nurse because all nurses are given a difficult and often life-saving role, but she is not going to solve this problem by spending too much money and making you foot the bill. Its student loans are a good place to start.

Put everything on paper: salary, expenses, pocket money, student loans. Create a pie chart, if necessary. You both need to consider how much money you make, what your monthly obligations are and how much extracurricular money you spend and, most importantly, what percentage of your income that involves.

This is your opportunity to hit reset and have a conversation about wants, needs and personal responsibility.

You can even decide to pool your resources and stick to the same formula for monthly expenses, savings, and entertainment. It can help your wife realize that you are a team and it’s not about one person having more than the other and deserving more because they have less pay.

For example, personal finance site NerdWallet advocated the Budget 50/30/20. “With this formula, you aim to spend 50% of your net salary on needs such as rent and insurance, 30% on wishes such as gym memberships and vacations, and 20% on reimbursement of costs. debt and savings, ”he says. Your “fun money” comes out of the rest.

The biggest takeaway here: It’s not just about your wife’s student loan, though that’s a major consideration. This is your opportunity to hit reset and have a conversation about wants, needs and personal responsibility. Managing a budget is an exercise that we can all make at home. You, your wife, and the Argentist.

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